Blake Shelton was just crowned People Magazine‘s Sexiest Man of the Year, much to the dismay of basically everyone, except for his girlfriend Gwen Stefani. The problem? People just don’t think he’s hot. In fact, there are plenty of Bramptonians that rank higher on the hot scale than Blake Shelton, and we’re going to use this as a moment to call into question, once again, what on earth the folks who brought this travesty upon us were thinking.
1. These Brampton YouTubers
Some people consider Blake Shelton to be a pretty funny guy, but we like our humour without a side of racism and homophobia, therefore the funny guys at 4YallEntertainment are way sexier.
2. This cool guy who makes tea
Charismatic, stylish and a tea maker who’s served the likes of the Prince of Wales and celebrities in Hollywood — Daniel Lewis of T by Daniel easily outranks Shelton on the hot scale. Forgo buying the latest issue of People mag and get a Lion Chai instead.
3. This other cool guy who makes amazing samosas
They say the way to someone’s heart is through food. Rick Matharu, founder of popular restaurant Ricks Good Eats is definitely killing the food game and therefore ranks way higher than Blake Shelton ever could. Also, Rick’s facial hair is clearly superior.
4. This bike cop holding a puppy
No explanation needed.
5. Bike Cop’s puppy in a knitted sweater
That same puppy in a knitted sweater, nothing left to be said here either.
6. This turbaned snowman from last winter
This guy made the rounds in Brampton last winter. Yep, definitely hotter than Blake Shelton, despite being made of frozen precipitation.
7. This stylish politician
Jagmeet Singh has lots of swag: lots more than Blake Shelton. He’s even graced the pages of GQ.
8. This pole in downtown Brampton
Also hotter than Blake Shelton. (No Freudian implications intended.)
9. This city councillor
Blake Shelton versus Councillor Martin Medeiros from Ward 3/4: we know who wins. Looking sharp, councilman.
10. This Canada Goose at Chinguacousy Park
Even Canada geese, who poop everywhere and are kind of jerks, are hotter than Blake Shelton.
And there you have it, 10 people (mostly people, anyway) that rank higher on the sexy scale than Blake Shelton, and that’s not even considering basically every other man on the planet.