7 Things Bramptonians Would Rather Have On Mars

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Three days ago evidence of water was found on Mars. According to NASA, water runs down canyons and crater walls during certain months of the year. It’s no longer the dry uninhabitable wasteland they once thought it was. The folks that have already purchased one-way tickets to Mars for outrageous prices can now relax. There’s now a sliver of a chance Mars can sustain human life. The running water is shown as the dark spots in the photo NASA has released.

HALE CRATER, MARS - UNSPECIFIED DATE: In this handout provided by NASA's Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter, dark, narrow streaks on the slopes of Hale Crater are inferred to be formed by seasonal flow of water on surface of present-day Mars. These dark features on the slopes are called "recurring slope lineae" or RSL. Scientists reported on September 28, 2015 using observations with the Compact Reconnaissance Imaging Spectrometer on the same orbiter detected hydrated salts on these slopes at Hale Crater, corroborating the hypothesis that the streaks are formed by briny liquid water. (Photo by NASA/JPL-Caltech/Univ. of Arizona via Getty Images)

But water? Who needs water! By the time the inhabitation of Mars happens the human species will be so advanced, we won’t need water to survive, or well be so awesome we’ll be able to produce it on our own all badass like one of the X-Men. There’s a few things Bramptonians would much rather have on Mars over water.

Mackay Patties

No brainer. Who wants to live on a planet with No Mackay patties? A world without the unwavering, never-changing Mackay patty is not a world I want to live in!

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Russell Peters

Let’s not kid ourselves, Mars seems like a bit of a dark depressing abyss. There probably won’t be any Netflix or Shomi, but having Russell Peters there is a game changer. If he’s the designated Mars Landing comedian, then who needs Netflix?

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Sandy Kennedy

Someone’s got to take care of the real estate on Mars! Sandy is the man to handle this kind of job.

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Jays Playoffs Tickets

Remember the good old days when you could get a nosebleed ticket for $10? Those days are no more. Having a team that wins is both a blessing and a curse. But mostly a blessing ‘cause the Yankees are eating the dust.

SP-JAYS9JUNE TORONTO, ON- JUNE 9 - Toronto Blue Jays fans show there support for their team during the game between the Toronto Blue Jays and the Minnesota Twins at the Rogers Centre June 9, 2014. David Cooper/Toronto Star

An LRT

If we’re all going to live on Mars it had better have a more efficient transit system. Ain’t nobody got time to wait for the number 1 Queen. Maybe the Martians that live there can even tell us how to get our city councillors on board with the Hurontario-Main LRT. The Martians have all the answers, obviously.

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Samosas

It isn’t a party or get together for Bramptoians unless there’s samosas on the back table. We can’t go there unless there are samosas, case closed.

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Brampton Batman

We’ll need someone to fight crime and Brampton’s very own Dark Knight is clearly the person for the job!

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What do you rather have with you on Mars?

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