Three days ago evidence of water was found on Mars. According to NASA, water runs down canyons and crater walls during certain months of the year. It’s no longer the dry uninhabitable wasteland they once thought it was. The folks that have already purchased one-way tickets to Mars for outrageous prices can now relax. There’s now a sliver of a chance Mars can sustain human life. The running water is shown as the dark spots in the photo NASA has released.
But water? Who needs water! By the time the inhabitation of Mars happens the human species will be so advanced, we won’t need water to survive, or well be so awesome we’ll be able to produce it on our own all badass like one of the X-Men. There’s a few things Bramptonians would much rather have on Mars over water.
Mackay Patties
No brainer. Who wants to live on a planet with No Mackay patties? A world without the unwavering, never-changing Mackay patty is not a world I want to live in!
Russell Peters
Let’s not kid ourselves, Mars seems like a bit of a dark depressing abyss. There probably won’t be any Netflix or Shomi, but having Russell Peters there is a game changer. If he’s the designated Mars Landing comedian, then who needs Netflix?
Sandy Kennedy
Someone’s got to take care of the real estate on Mars! Sandy is the man to handle this kind of job.
Jays Playoffs Tickets
Remember the good old days when you could get a nosebleed ticket for $10? Those days are no more. Having a team that wins is both a blessing and a curse. But mostly a blessing ‘cause the Yankees are eating the dust.
An LRT
If we’re all going to live on Mars it had better have a more efficient transit system. Ain’t nobody got time to wait for the number 1 Queen. Maybe the Martians that live there can even tell us how to get our city councillors on board with the Hurontario-Main LRT. The Martians have all the answers, obviously.
Samosas
It isn’t a party or get together for Bramptoians unless there’s samosas on the back table. We can’t go there unless there are samosas, case closed.
Brampton Batman
We’ll need someone to fight crime and Brampton’s very own Dark Knight is clearly the person for the job!
