The sheer amount of home burglaries and muggings in Brampton lately has people on edge. But there’s no need to live your life in fear, here’s a few sure-fire ways to avoid getting robbed the moment you step out of your house.
1. Act like a total nut case
Who wants to rob the guy who is nervously twitching or audibly muttering to himself? Absolutely no one, so just act bat &%@# crazy. No mugger wants to deal with unpredictable crazies.
2. Beef up
Did Chuck Norris ever get robbed? No, because he was buff as hell. So go to the gym and start doing those bicep curls! Or buy one of these.
3. Carry only loonies
Leave the 20s and 50s at home. Travel with a pound of loonies instead. You can flash those bad boys around town without risking your safety. No self-respecting robber would ever want to utter the words “Bro, hand over the loonies!” So you’re good to go.
4. Look sure of yourself
Just exuding confidence tells a thief that you’re prepared to fight to get your money back. The nunchucks, throwing stars and brass knuckles need to be left at home, but exude the confidence of a person carrying these badass weapons anyway. Make it seem like you’re ready to bring down terrible justice upon anyone who would ever cross you. Chances are, you’ll be left alone if you can pull this off successfully.
5. Stay alert
Take your ear-buds out, stop reading texts and get off Facebook, especially when it’s dark. Did Chuck Norris ever lose a fight because he was too distracted by Kim Kardashian’s latest tweet? Hell no. Keep your eyes peeled, and be aware of your surroundings. No internet for you, unless you want to be mugged. Then by all means, use your phone in a dark catwalk at night while you’re alone.
If you do happen to get robbed
Just give them the bag of loonies, your life isn’t worth it. Take the opportunity when you’re handing it over to get a description of the assailant to give to the police. Also, make sure to call the police, no crime is too big or small. Report it so they can be aware of what’s happening.
Most robbers really just want your money and valuables, but if you find yourself in the unique situation of having to face some cracked out mugger high on bath salts who wants to mess you up, here’s a few tips to get you by:
- Keys are a great way to defend yourself. You’d be surprised how quickly a key jab to the throat or eyes can subdue an unruly person.
- Yell for help. Make a fuss, scream, whatever you have to do to draw attention.
- Run like hell. If the opportunity presents itself, remove yourself from the situation.
- Take a self-defence class.
